So far, I've survived 7 months of being a single mother with a baby. Right now I am working on sleep training with the little rascal, which is what inspired me to write this post. Because it is HARD. I'd heard raising a baby was hard, but I have to assume that it's more challenging without a partner. Not only is there no one around, ever, to hand the baby off to for a few minutes, but it can be incredibly lonely. I talk to the baby a lot, but she can't talk back yet. Sometimes I go two or three days only having a 'conversation' with the checker at the grocery store.
So here's my advice: Create a solid support system - you are going to need it.
I got by pretty well on my own for a few months, but now that I'm going through a rough patch, it's made worse by the fact that Astrid doesn't know many other people well enough to be left alone with them. Had I to do it over again, I would have made myself leave her with key people in my support system for short periods of time, frequently, and early on. Even when I didn't need a break from the baby, building those relationships with people other than me would have benefited her, and me, later when I did need a break.
Find someone, or multiple people, who are willing to come over and just hold the baby for a while. Often I feel that if someone would just come and play with her for an hour, I could relax a little. I wish that I had established a frequent visiting schedule with a couple of people early on. Now I feel like I have to almost beg certain people to help me out. I do have one close friend who frequently offers to watch the baby, but it's more stressful than anything because Astrid has terrible stranger anxiety.
It really does take a village to raise a child. Establish your 'village' and accept help even if you feel like you don't really need it at the moment. Someday you will be desperate for help, and if your little one has a handful of close family or friends that he or she is comfortable with, asking for and receiving help will be easier for everyone.
Oh! Also- get baby used to a bottle. Astrid refuses to take a bottle, which is just another challenge I'm dealing with when it comes to leaving her with someone else.
