Tips for Single Pregnant Women

So far, I've survived 7 months of being a single mother with a baby. Right now I am working on sleep training with the little rascal, which is what inspired me to write this post. Because it is HARD. I'd heard raising a baby was hard, but I have to assume that it's more challenging without a partner. Not only is there no one around, ever, to hand the baby off to for a few minutes, but it can be incredibly lonely. I talk to the baby a lot, but she can't talk back yet. Sometimes I go two or three days only having a 'conversation' with the checker at the grocery store.
So here's my advice: Create a solid support system - you are going to need it.
I got by pretty well on my own for a few months, but now that I'm going through a rough patch, it's made worse by the fact that Astrid doesn't know many other people well enough to be left alone with them. Had I to do it over again, I would have made myself leave her with key people in my support system for short periods of time, frequently, and early on. Even when I didn't need a break from the baby, building those relationships with people other than me would have benefited her, and me, later  when I did need a break.
Find someone, or multiple people, who are willing to come over and just hold the baby for a while. Often I feel that if someone would just come and play with her for an hour, I could relax a little. I wish that I had established a frequent visiting schedule with a couple of people early on. Now I feel like I have to almost beg certain people to help me out. I do have one close friend who frequently offers to watch the baby, but it's more stressful than anything because Astrid has terrible stranger anxiety.
It really does take a village to raise a child. Establish your 'village' and accept help even if you feel like you don't really need it at the moment. Someday you will be desperate for help, and if your little one has a handful of close family or friends that he or she is comfortable with, asking for and receiving help will be easier for everyone.
Oh! Also- get baby used to a bottle. Astrid refuses to take a bottle, which is just another challenge I'm dealing with when it comes to leaving her with someone else.

3 Months

My mother told me that with each of her kids she felt like she was 'crawling out of a well and back into the world' around three months. That kind of intimidated me because it sounded like the first three months were just awful, so I'd been looking forward to Astrid's third month, which arrived yesterday.

Being a single mother is exhausting, but her increasing personality makes it so rewarding.

Perfectly timed is the release of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, which I am going to enjoy with my father. I'm not thrilled about being away from Astrid for 3+ hours, but she'll have a bottle and her Grandma... and I could really use a break! I'm going to do my best to relax and enjoy the outing with my Dad.

Nerd Confession #1

My favourite way to relax is to curl up in bed in my pajamas and watch The Lord of the Rings Special Features.

Cloth Diapers

During my eighth month of pregnancy, my mother came to visit and graciously spent about $250.00 on cloth diaper supplies.

This included:

• 30 prefolds
• 4 diaper covers (Thirsties)
• 1 13 gallon wet bag
• 1 13 gallon trash bin with lid
• 1 set (6) cloth wipes

The snap diaper covers were recommended because you can tell another person how many snaps fits baby best. This sounded reasonable at the time, but two months into motherhood I'm wishing I'd gone with Velcro covers. First, Velcro is SO much easier than snaps. Snaps aren't really difficult, but they are not nearly as easy and quick as Velcro. Second, being a single mom with a newborn, it is rare that anyone else changes Astrid's diaper, so there's no need to be able to tell someone else how tight her diaper should be.

There are two things I would add to the list above:

• 5 more sets of cloth wipes
• a smaller wet bag to keep in the diaper bag

I got one set of cloth wipes just to try, but if you're going to use them instead of disposables you'll obviously need more than six. If you're going with cloth diapers, it's convenient to use cloth wipes as well so you can toss them into the bin with the dirty diapers. Since I'm still using disposable wipes I have to keep a separate trash bin next to the diaper bin.
Happily I received a wipes warmer as a baby shower gift, so when I do get more cloth wipes I will make my own wipes solution and keep the cloth wipes in the warmer. I use disposables in it right now, and though a wipes warmer is, of course, not necessary, I find it to be a lovely luxury.

"I don't know how to talk to a BABY..."

It can feel weird to talk to a baby who doesn't visibly react to your voice, much less understand anything you're saying. It took 6 weeks for me to feel like Astrid was really noticing when I talked to her. Even then, it felt awkward to just talk.
So I started reading to her, and because she was so young I was able to read anything - I simply wanted her to get to know my voice. I started reading Little Women out loud while I rocked her, and that felt more comfortable. I also started singing along to songs while I folded laundry or cleaned, and though that didn't seem to have an impact on her at the time, just two weeks later she was visibly pleased and enthralled to hear and see me singing (as you can see in the photo above).
Now, at 10 weeks, I feel totally comfortable talking to her about anything, mostly because I can see how much she loves it.

Packing for Baby

The first time I traveled with Astrid I packed all her clothes with mine, and by the second day at my parents' the suitcase was a disaster. I had to dig around to find a sock, a burp rag, or a onesie. For our Thanksgiving trip a month later, I packed Astrid's outfits in quart-sized Ziplock bags, squeezed the air out and stacked them in the suitcase.

Packing list for baby for 5 days:

• 6 onesies
• 6 pairs of pants
• 6 sets of pajamas (she wore one on the plane)
• 4 pairs of socks (used 2)
• 4 pairs of mittens (used 2)
• 2 hoodies (used 1)
• 2 hats (used 1)
• 7 burp cloths
• 2 receiving blankets
• 2 regular baby blankets
• 1 towel
• 2 cloth wipes (didn't use these)
• enough diapers and wipes to get you to your destination (I bought more when we arrived to save room)
• changing pad (I accidentally threw mine away days earlier so I didn't actually have one, but it would have been better than just a receiving blanket)
• pacifier, gas drops, rash cream, etc.

We came home with every single item I packed for her - not a single tiny sock was lost! A pair of my socks, however, managed to escape the suitcase for the journey home. Good grief.

Airplane Adventure

Astrid was just over 2 months old when I took her to California for Thanksgiving. Being under age two she didn't have to have her own seat, so she was essentially a carry-on. We were able to take the stroller (with car seat snapped in) through security and right up to the door of the plane, where both pieces were tagged and stored (somewhere) on the plane. I simply carried her on and the stroller was waiting in the ramp when we landed.

My thoughts:

• Going through security was no more complicated with a baby, I simply had to send the stroller and car seat through with the diaper bag, and carry Astrid with me.
• Best to have the seat(s) next to you on the plane empty or occupied by someone you are traveling with. Since we were traveling for a major holiday our flight was overbooked, but my parents were with us so we were able to stretch out more.
• Use disposable diapers instead of cloth while traveling.
• If the baby is small enough still, you can change her diaper in your seat (made easier if the seat or lap next to you is available). I did not take Astrid to the toilet on the airplane for a diaper change.
• Breastfeeding on the plane is easy and discreet, and apparently helps prevent ear pain from altitude change (which didn't appear to bother Astrid at all).
• If your baby does cry during the flight, it's not nearly as loud as you would expect due to all the plane noise. The plane is the quietest before take-off and after landing (Astrid got a little fussy after landing).
• It was helpful to have someone with me who could hold the baby while I went to the toilet, and help with my luggage.

Overall, it was a lovely experience.

Baby Chooses Sleep Over Milk at 8 Weeks

Astrid nursed every two hours consistently since birth, until last week when she discovered the joy of sleeping longer and skipping a meal.
Awesome, right? It is, except for this little detail I hadn't thought of: my body still makes milk for her every two hours. 
So I did some research online and found that the best thing to do is... nothing. It will take some time but your body will eventually stop producing milk so frequently during the night. You may be tempted to pump when you wake up engorged, but that will send your body an inaccurate message of how much milk is needed. I did wake Astrid up to nurse one night last week because one breast was painfully engorged, and I was able to get her to nurse just long enough to get comfortable again.